Buddhist teachers talk about the importance of both allowing the experience of grief and not becoming lost in it, like the strings of a musical instrument that should be neither too tight nor too loose.
This is wise advice. One of the immense difficulties of post-abortion grief is that – once it opens up – it is so very hard to work through and let go of. It is not a natural grief and the element of guilt at having participated in the death (even if only from despair and lack of support) as well as the shame and societal denial that generally means abortion grief is a totally private, silent one makes it a toxic experience that can overwhelm and consume.
Pregnant women considering abortion are never told of this potential grief and abortion is sold as being consequence-free and pain-free. Both those things are, of course, a lie. The most honest thing abortion clinics could do is to tell women that abortion involves the death of their baby and that death involves grief. Brutal? Violent? Invasive? Nowhere near as brutal, violent and invasive as the devastation abortion can cause, years afer the event.