The wound is the place where the Light enters you.
Jalal din Rumi
A thousand miles seems like an overwhelmingly long way. But the goal is not important, in a sense; it is the setting out in the right direction that matters. Easy to say! We understand how hopeless and despairing you can feel on this journey. It vital to find something that helps restore a sense of meaning and purpose to your life – whether it is a spiritual path or some other group or value system that reconnects you to the web of life and gives it meaning.
Abortion is a shattering experience for those who experience it for what it is, without denial. It destroys hope, love and the most fundamental of human experiences, the continuation of ourselves through our children. In addition its impact is denied and ignored, making life a continual series of symbolic abortions in which grief and regret for the child one lost is repeatedly annihilated as people deny that anything at all took place. To the conscious woman, we know of no deeper violation or abuse.
We understand the courage you have in facing your pain and in trying to acknowledge it honestly and heal from it. You are now connected to the suffering of being human in a deeper way than most people have to come to know. For the depth of your suffering we wish you an equal depth of forgiveness, of liberation and of renewed joy.
Reconnecting with love
We are very sorry your baby was taken from you. We are sorry you did not get to experience the journey of love. But love is still there, can never disappear from our world, no matter what has happened; now love exists in the compassion you must extend yourself and the willingness to let go of the painful past to embrace a new day with joy and meaning. In understanding the complex web of causes that led to your abortion and in feeling regret for it, you can forgive yourself and know that you are forgiven, by whatever powers of love exist in the universe. It was not meant to be this way. But love will never, can never, stop calling to us…
We sincerely hope that you will experience peace after abortion. Doing so involves doing the work of grief – grief for the many different losses that are involved in abortion – and that is not a quick or easy process. Experiencing compassion for and forgiveness of oneself is the hardest challenge, harder than forgiving others, in fact, and we believe that coming to understand how abortion is a societal failure as much as it is a personal choice is an important part of that.
Each person will find peace in her or his own way, and no-one can really dictate another’s journey. Connecting with others who understand without judgement seems to be an important step on the way, as is finding some way to use your pain to benefit others. Some women turn to religion after an abortion to find hope, healing and freedom from what can be a suffocating sense of darkness and emptiness; anything that helps restore dignity, courage and a sense of self-worth is to be welcomed. No power of ultimate love could possibly continue to condemn or judge people who feel regret over abortion or require that they remain in some hell of guilt and self-blame. In the end, of course, it is we ourselves who hold the key to the door of that prison of suffering.
If you would like to share your stories of hope and healing, or anything that has helped you along the way, we hope you will leave a comment below.